Oonagh's Opinions

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The Cow ©

Bare of flesh, Steel Ribbed
With sturdy hooves and blunted horns
She stands a silent symbol
Inside her protective enclosure

Her eyes do not see
The admiring glances
Her ears do not hear the appreciative murmurs
She is admired nonetheless, her sculptor praised

Shimmering Silver and White proclaiming her innocence
As the colours chosen by the valiant knights of old
Defending the good, fighting for the just causes
Championing the pure and innocent

Foot and Mouth with BSE passes her by
She was not sacrificed upon the fires of Agricultural
Mall administration

She is testimony to a superior creativity
Which serves her existence much better than
Beef mountains and milk lakes

May her life endure longer than her fellow bovine creatures
Made from mere flesh, bone and blood
Those poor victims of human indifference and callousness
Dishonouring nature


Tollcross Poem ©

There was ane called Blacky Manky Corbrtt
Whilst diggin oot some coal
Goat filthy manky mocket
And fell doon this great big black coal hole

He'd dug it oot sae deeply
His hoose caved in an aw
So he hud tae build a new keep
In the dear park in Tow Craw

He thocht he wis the Lairdie braw
In his mansion and four postered bed
Then he sent a letter tae King Ted
"I'll no be back. I'm staying here instead."

King Eddy goat in quite a stew
"Rebellious Knights? This will not do!
I'll get my great big hammer out
And give Corbett a mighty clout.

How dare he forget I am his King
And to my will he'll bend his knee.
Doth he think in Tollcross he'll do his thing?
I'll hammer him(ha ha ho ho he) then we shall see!"

But Corbett, tae big Ed's surprise
Learnt how tae duck and dive
He chang-ed side with crafty ease
And so with cunning his house survived

So now some history you know
About the Dear Park in Tow Crow



Black Knight…….Horse ©

My feet firmly in the stirrup and my hand on the rein, I rode my horse into the dark void of the sky. Whispering in his ear I told him to lead the way. He was graceful from nose to tail and carved from a single block of tree trunk from my Grandad's Orchard. The apples had never tasted great, and Gran said the salt breeze from the seashore had tainted them and eventually the trees had stopped producing apples, so Grandad had decided to diversify and begin a new enterprise.
The trees were ideal for his purpose, and with the help of some small Government grants he began building up the workshops he would need.
After five years of giving new skills to a group of boys and girls who had a fkair for this sort of thing he began to show a profit and paid back some loans he had taken out.
His old engineering skills were put to good use and he filled his workshops with some second hand equipment which he had reconditioned himself. He was good at repairing motors and coaxing them into action in the early days, but now he was able to buy new ones which were state of the art and more economical to run.
The boys carved the horses and the girls painted them. Each horse was individually designed and was given an little extra feature or character.
Grandad had built up a library of books about rocking horses and nursery rhymes. He had gathered stories from different lands as well as real life stories of famous horses like Black Bess, Pegasus, Shergar, Black Beauty, Champion the wonder horse, Trigger, and Magic from Tollcross Park. There were many others but my own favourite steed was always Black Knight who rode among the stars and through the milky way for adventures with spacemen. Who knows what may happen in space?



20th century ©

The auld estate goat in a state
The walls came tumblin' doon
The cooncil put up railings and a gate
So Tollcross Park wis born

The place wis aw well laid oot
The folk played putt and pitch
And oif they had a wee fa oot
They went and burned a witch

Then they laid oot three bowlin' greens
Where they could ball the jack
But you couldnae play in yer auld blue jeans
Or else ye goat the sack

A band stand wis later added oan
For folk tae come and dance
And Glen Miller played the Jitter Bug
And pit them in a trance

The concert parties were great fun
Folk flocked for miles aroon
And some romances blossomed
While lads were known tae croon

Some auld yins reminisce
That's where I goat my first kiss
And many a romance goat aff the ground
To end in wedded bliss


Africa ©

(Featured on Radio Banbury's first broadcast)

You can go mad in the African sun
You can go mad in the heat
You can go mad to the sound of a drum
If you try to keep to the beat

You've to look out for snakes in the grass and the trees
You've to be careful not to catch a disease
And beware of the Tsetse fly's injection
Or you could succumb to Black Water infection

You can go mad in the African heat
You can go mad in the sun
You can go mad and die in defeat
If a scorpion stings your bum

You've to watch out for the lion's tooth
You've to be careful when out in the bush
You've to hide from the Tokoloshe at night
For the ghosties can give you a h… of a fright

You can go mad in the African sun
You can go mad in the hea
So remember to keep your sun hat on
And don't walk the bush in bare feet



Blacky the Scunner ©

Now Blacky wis a scunner
And it really makes ye wonder
Whit his Teddy pal hid planned
For the braw Tollcross Land

He chased all the woolfies away
And turned the land blood red (wi woolfie blood at that)
By skinning the scabbie beasties
And turned their caots tae hats

This wis called the fur industry
The first of many many
But Ted the Ned goat jealous
And raised taxes by a penny (heard it?)

Well Blacky wis havin nane of this
For a penny for Ted was far too much
So he thought he'd tak it for himself
And Ted was left in the lurch

Now Roger took the black crow's crest
Emblazoned it on his shield
He really thocht he wis the best
So the Scots would, tae him, yield
That's where he wis mistaken
For the wee bit Scottish nation
Soon gathered aw the gither
Tae stop his immigration


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